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      歡迎來到原中小學教育資源網!

      這個關鍵時期,父母不逼孩子一把,真會毀他一生!后悔看晚了...

      瑞文頭條 時間:2018-10-11 我要投稿
      【www.51cxty.com - 瑞文頭條】

        父母的教育方法,直接決定孩子將來的成就。


        有很多家長都問我,該怎么教孩子。

        很抱歉,這個問題實在籠統,無法給出一個最好的回答。

        但有一點,每個家長都要注意,在孩子成長的關鍵時期,你要配以恰當的教育方法,才能事半功倍。

        不然,很可能誤了他們的未來。


        一

        在同事的介紹下,我認識了一對夫妻,他們一看就是“望子成龍”的典型,只可惜生了個“熊孩子”,至今仍然不知道該如何管教。

        我請他們說說平時孩子的狀況,發現他們遇到了大多數家長都會遇到的問題——孩子叛逆。

        他們的兒子,龍龍,今年讀初二,成績一般,也不愛學習,每天都沉迷打游戲。

        用他媽媽的話說,“手機不離身,眼睛不離屏幕,一有空就要玩”。

        每次家長阻攔時,龍龍都會發脾氣,甚至和他們吵起來,如今已經打壞家里好幾個花瓶了。

        爸爸覺得孩子還小,沒必要管得太緊,再加上總是被氣到,于是開始擺出一副“不想管”的態度。

        媽媽倒是心疼兒子,認為學校布置的學習任務太重了,于是默許了兒子不做部分作業,她來幫他做。

        聽到這兒,我已經明白他們的問題出在哪兒了。在孩子成長的關鍵時候,家長居然選擇了放任不管的態度,這絕對不是一件好事。

        許多孩子在初中階段都會叛逆,特別是初二,沒有剛進初中的不適應感,也沒有面臨中考的緊迫感,再加上各方面開始成熟,因此渴望發出自己的聲音。

        也就是說,想要證明自己長大,敢于反抗家長與教師。

        對于初中階段且開始叛逆的孩子,家長一定要正確引導,才能避免孩子走偏。


        二

        我是這么建議這位媽媽的:

        (豎線)

        盡快和孩子來一次深入談話,但絕對不能批評孩子。

        用一個朋友的口吻,了解孩子的真實想法,表示自己能理解、接受。

        簡單說說自己最近的經歷和感受,爭取得到孩子的理解。


        以上這3點,適用于大部分孩子叛逆的家長。

        其實,孩子的叛逆只是一種階段性的特征,不是性格,更不會決定孩子一生的發展。

        家長最需要做的就是理解、引導與支持,只有在平等的關系下,溝通才能順利進行。

        只有當和孩子達成統一戰線后,他們才會支持你的下一步行動。

        那就是,幫助孩子走回正路。

        很明顯,這位媽媽習慣寵愛孩子,卻很少為孩子的未來做打算。

        她按照我的建議和龍龍溝通后,發現這個脾氣倔的孩子居然哭了,才知道他都在想什么。

        原來,龍龍也想考到好成績,希望得到父母和老師的表揚。

        可他確實靜不下心學習,成績一直提不上去,再加上經常被爸爸罵,所以就有些自暴自棄了。

        為此,龍龍媽媽特意和班主任溝通,說明了龍龍的真實情況,希望班主任和各科任老師能夠幫助龍龍提高成績。

        最起碼,不要把他當成一個“壞孩子”。

        我想說的是,很多孩子之所以表現出明顯的叛逆,主要源于“失望”:

        對自己失望,是因為不知道自己該怎么做。

        對他人失望,所以才拒絕和別人的溝通。


        三

        我女兒琪琪讀初中時,因為追星,成績一落千丈。

        初二課業很重,她每天做作業都要做好幾個小時,每每熬夜到將近一點。

        剛開始時我們都不明白女兒的效率為何如此低,后來才發現,她居然躲在房間里追劇,玩電腦。

        看到她從全班第一名掉到三十名開外,我真的很痛心,當時直接拔了電腦電源線,罵了她一頓。

        琪琪就在那兒哭,也不爭辯,后來我們冷戰了一段時間。

        捫心自問,身為父母,確實不可能總是維持理智,何況琪琪本來是個那么優秀的孩子。

        我真的擔心女兒為此一蹶不振,所以在周末的時候,帶她去看了場電影,又找了個安靜的地方,和她好好地說了一會兒話。

        我為自己之前不好的態度道歉,說自己能夠理解十幾歲女孩對世界的好奇,同時也表達了對她學習的關心和擔憂。

        總之,盡可能把兩人的距離縮短,多和她交心,說心里話,也就得到了她真心的反饋。

        她抱著我哭的那一瞬間,我知道她已經明白了,她也一定能對自己負責。

        因為叛逆,多少孩子的心思跑偏了,甚至改變了原來的性格。

        每個家長一定要知道,遇到叛逆,該如何合理引導孩子。


        四

        著名教育家蘇霍姆林斯基認為,教育的實質正是在于克服自己身上的動物本能和發展人所特有的全部本性。

        人之叛逆,本身就是動物性的體現——拒絕束縛,趨向自由與任性。

        而教育的目的就在于引導,引導孩子避免接觸人性中不良的因素,來發展優秀的本性。

        因此,每位家長都是教育家,特別是面對中學階段叛逆期的孩子,更要學會引導。

        孩子愛玩游戲,就要讓他們懂得在玩中學,感受知識的趣味。

        孩子經常偷懶,就要讓他們意識到懶惰的代價,非勤奮無法取得成就。

        孩子脾氣不好,就要了解他們內心的真正訴求,幫助他們完善人格。

        家長不能縱容孩子,孩子也不能總依賴父母。

        在最關鍵的時候,逼孩子一把,才能將他們推上更高的位置,讓他們成為更好的人。

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